EPISODE 21 - HIV and Relationships

Whilst the rate of new HIV infections is falling amongst people under 20, it's increasing amongst people over 25 years of age and is increasing fastest amongst people over 40.

Nonhlanhla Langa is a 56 year old women living with HIV near Howick in KZN.  When she started coughing and had bladder problems she went to the clinic where she tested positive for HIV. Nonhlanhla has been with her partner Zwelibanzi Langa for years, but they only decided to get married three years ago. Nonhlanhla is sure she got the virus "at home" - her husband has a mistress that she is aware of. They didn't use condoms and were not that aware of HIV. After she tested positive she was upset. Now she has come to terms with it, "mistakes happen to anyone and I see this as a mistake" she says philosophically. Zwelibanzi has his doubts, "maybe it happened like that but I also don't know" he says. He started with traditional healers who gave him an enema and he also attended the clinic. Nonhlanhla says since they learned about HIV they always use condoms. Zwelibanzi's advice to men who have women on the side is always to use protection, both at home and with other women.

"at home"

Not all women are lucky enough to have a partner who will agree to using condoms. Some women suffer because their partners refuse to use condoms. Nonhlanhla Thusi is one such woman. Before she tested positive for HIV her partner didn't want to use condoms because he didn't enjoy sex that way. Then after she tested positive, he changed his mind. Nonhlanhla joined the Abanqobikazi Support Group at Mpumuza Clinic. Buhle Khumalo says: "Gone are the days of women being oppressed by men. We have a right to stand up for ourselves and a right to protect ourselves.  If he doesn't want to use a condom, then you can a female condom. In the support group they encourage each other to use the female condoms when they can get them.

Condom Use

What if you are living with HIV and want to have a child? James and Thabisele want to have a child. Thabi is living with HIV and James is HIV negative. They use condoms all the time. Doing it the natural way is risky as James may become infected. What are their options? The safest in their situation is to go for artificial insemination. Many private health professionals can assist with this. However, it is not that freely available in the public sector. Thabi is already on ARVs so there is no better protection for her baby than that. At birth her baby will be given one dose of Nevirapine immediately, and will take AZT syrup for seven days, just to make sure that the baby is not infected. We're hoping Thabi and James will have a healthy baby soon!

Sero-discordent Couples